Some folks are blessed with green fingers. Others are blessed with a talent for murdering plants in cold blood, regardless of how hard they make an effort to nurture and tend. I belong to the next category, just like you had not already guessed.
You would believe, being fully a person of some limited capability with regard to gardening, I’d live in a location consisting mostly of concrete with the casual indestructible tree defying all my attempts at slaughter. Instead, I reside in a garden which stretches the entire amount of my house and is at the very least four times the width.
My garden contains a specimen of almost every fruit tree that will grow in a Mediterranean climate, and includes some rare examples of cacti and palm. Regardless of my efforts to look after it, it has survived for many years on the natural cycle of care given by Mother Nature.
I tried to pull down an enormous proboscis that has been attempting to grow out from the middle of one of my cactus, and it turned out to be a rare flower stalk, which appears only every fifteen years or so, and when it dies the plant dies with it. Luckily I did nearly manage to strangle it and the flower grew to be fifteen Melbourne Gardeners feet in height, arched over our path, and made an extremely pretty sight when it started to bloom. The plant did die, though, as expected.
Every spring and summer I spend a fortune on bedding plants, only to plant them in the wrong place where they either have too much sun or not enough of it, or I over water everything and drown it. I spray things with insecticide which are too delicate to withstand the poison and the bugs survive, nevertheless the plant dies.
I plant things in pots with other things which will be planted alone, and then one kills off the other. I plant things in pots which are too small or too big, or too shallow, it’s all very confusing.
The worst thing is when one spends a king’s ransom on a magnificent, mature plant to possess it wither the moment it arrives on one’s doorstep. I am certain that the plant kingdom works a special semaphore system and instructions to self destruct are passed round the garden centers whenever my trolley appears.